Review: Making Peace: Healing a Violent World

[Bryan Corn]

Edited by Carolyn McConnell and Sarah Ruth van Gelder, Making Peace is a collection of articles from past issues in YES! A Journal of Positive Futures. The introduction points out that peace is everywhere and happens all the time. It is violence that gets attention, however, and peace-making is far too important to be left to policy makers. Each article in the collection exemplifies multiple core practices and principles that comprise the Beyond War community and offer everything from inspiring personal stories of transcending violence, war, and hate to editorials about changes that are going on around us echoing events from the past. Contributing authors include teachers, doctors, therapists, a murderer incarcerated for life, a mother who confronts her son’s killer, and theologians.

One excerpt is an interview with Marshal Rosenberg of the Center for Nonviolent Communication who describes peaceful communication as “giraffe language” because giraffes have the largest heart of any land animal while the opposite is coined “jackal language” ( as jackals are close to the ground and only concerned with their needs), which most of us are taught to speak.

A powerful example of living beyond war comes from the contribution of Troy Chapman, the inmate who, at the time of his writing, had already spent 16 years of his life sentence behind bars. He tells us, after deciding to join the third side, of a peaceful and productive way out of regularly occurring situation in which violence or submission is often seen as the only responses. In prison, inmates tend to display their dominance by not yielding to each other on the sidewalk. When someone approaches, they will try to block your path so that you must step aside or stand and fight. Chapman has found a better way and now steps aside while keeping eye contact and touches the person’s arm as they walk by and asks: “How are you doing?”

This collection can be a guide in how to react to world where violence and fear seem to dominate the media and our communities.

[Mora Rogers]

Hi, Bryan --

Thanks for the great review! I read Yes! magazine regularly and find it to be inspiring in its focus on the positive changes people are making in their lives and the lives of their communities -- it offers a positive antidote to the fear and apathy fostered by mainstream media.

I am very moved by the example you chose to cite, and it reminded me of another book that you (and others) might find interesting and inspiring. It is called "Finding Freedom: Writings from Death Row" by Jarvis Jay Masters and is filled with examples of the type that Troy Chapman describes. I think these stories are so deeply moving because they let us know that it really is possible to exprerience transformation of our own consciousness in a way that moves the world beyond war regardless of the external circumstances that seem to keep us bound in place.

Best wishes,
Mora

[Elaine Hallmark]

Great review. Thanks! We need to use some of these examples.

[Bryan Corn]

Discussion Questions:

1. How can the relationship of divorcee parents exemplify the core practices of Beyond War? In what ways are these directly applicable to other groups? Nations?

2. In what ways does the language that you speak influence your thoughts and actions?

3. How is it possible to have a third side in your own inner conflicts?

4. David Morse tells us how the sanctions against Iraq have outlawed basic necessities like water sanitation because of the possibility to use the required chemicals as weapons. Can you think of other ways in which short-sighted attempts to prevent war may likely prolong it or create future conflicts?

[Elaine Hallmark]

Bryan, have you figured out some answers to your questions now that you have gone further in the Beyond War course? It would be great to hear your thoughts now. I'll give you a few quick thoughts on each, but would love to hear more discussion.

1. Divorcee parents, like any of us, can employ the principles of recognizing that regardless of their legal status they are still interconnected with each other and the children. The means they use in their communications and relationships are the "ends in the making." They still need to make choices that are taking everyone into consideration, to use peaceful, collaborative means, and to resolve conflicts without violence, including psychological violence. Above all, they need to refrain from making anyone into an enemy. My parents were divorced at the time of my birth, and I always respected my mother for never disparaging my father to me and for always encouraging a continuing relationship no matter how difficult it was.

2. I experience the language I speak as being a reflection of my current state of mind. Sometimes I learn by listening to my own language that I have some pent up frustration or anger that I was not acknowledging. If I continue to allow myself to speak that way, I end up moving to the "enemy" mode. If I let my language clue me into taking care of my own state of being, then it can be a real help to me in moving beyond war.

3. I think that some of the meditation or other spiritual practices help people find a way to access an internal third side--a way to pull back and look at the whole picture, take in the reality without our own personal biases. I also find that asking someone for reflection on my inner conflicts can provide me a third side.

4. I'm sure there are a lot of examples like this. One thing I have learned is that the more we think we can regulate and control other people's behavior, the more we get trapped into these kinds of short term thinking that does not work overall. We need to find ways to engage the people whose behavior needs to change in finding the solutions together. The solutions have to be in everyone's interest, including the "offending" party.

[Marj Gibson]

I took that course and found it helpful,, I loved rosenburg book, the idea all fits with Beyond War. The same principles apply to individual relationship between people and and between nations.